3 Quarter Pounders, 4 Large Fries, 2 Diet Cokes and a Vanilla Thickshake. The order is repeated over and over. The counter girl, 100lbs, yells it out. I'm the only one there and. I shovel it into my mouth, my blackhole. I shovel it into my blackhole of a mouth. Giant rip across my face. My mouth is open wide. Cryingcryingcrying. I'm not eating. I'm not breathing. I'm shovelling. Piling, shovingshovingshoving handfuls at a time. 3 Quarter Pounders, 4 Large Fries, 2 Diet Cokes and a Vanilla Thickshake. In it all goes.

I eat MacDonald's because I'm not as strong as when I pretended to be a tiny China doll. The type of doll that you smash open to see another doll inside. Peel it off layer by layer by layer by layer. You keep it up and convince the fucking therapist your fine.

But I'm not like that anymore. The locked me up and then kicked me out when they said I was a GOODWEIGHT,FINEWEIGHT now I'm not strong enough to restrictstopstopstop so I shove my fingers down my throat, my whole hand. Shove it so far down (downdowndowndownAlicefelldownthehole) my mouth splits open and blood pours. I am a vampire. I'm one of those fucking vampires all the little girls are jealous of these days, but the only part of me that sparkles is my spit and my raining eyes. Those fucking girls know nothing.

My eyes are raining and I'm sparkling.. I don't have the strength to stop eating even though I know I should (havetohavetohavetoSTOPSTOP,doyouLIKEdoingthis?) and I don't have the strength to keep my fingers away from my mouth. And when I'm done here (inthebathroom,onthefloor,cryingcryingcrying) and blood, blackblood stains my fingers.. I wont have the strength to stand.